Firing Lane
Croaky Caiman is natures humble janitor just here to take out the trash through political discourse. Listen to Croaky Caiman, a conservative intellectual cartoon gator, have conversations with people from all backgrounds about current events, history, the U.S. political system, and law through sharing his extensive knowledge with a bit of humor and intermittent swear words. Not recommended for listeners under age 18.
Episodes

43 minutes ago
43 minutes ago
This episode, Croaky and Bonk tear into the economic malpractice flooding your timeline. Trump’s proposed 50% tariffs? Fake math. Greek letters used to confuse the masses? We caught the trick. Economic populists cheering like it’s WrestleMania? We bring the receipts and a flamethrower.
If you’re tired of the economic illiteracy and cultish logic infecting the Right, this is your episode.
🔥 Tariffs aren’t patriotism. They’re just taxes—with extra stupidity.
🎧 Listen now

2 days ago
2 days ago
In this episode of Firing Lane, Croaky Caiman takes aim at the critics trying to sabotage one of the most effective conservative reforms in modern politics—Hope Florida.
Launched by Casey DeSantis and championed by Senator Jay Collins, this initiative connects Floridians to faith-based and community support through real human beings—not bureaucracies. It’s a direct challenge to the failures of the Great Society—and it’s working.
Croaky breaks down how the program revives subsidiarity, supports the elderly, veterans, families, and caregivers, and works with county governments—not against them. He exposes the real reason some legislators oppose it: political envy, not policy substance.
Along the way, he introduces the Florida Avengers—a growing coalition of conservative leaders who are tired of slogans and ready to govern.
This isn’t just a podcast. It’s a rally cry.
Hope is working. The bill is moving. And the swamp is squirming.

3 days ago
3 days ago
Vice President J.D. Vance claims a legally protected man was a convicted MS-13 member. Problem? The court says he wasn’t. His lawyer says he wasn’t. Even the government says he wasn’t. But Vance just keeps tweeting.
So who are we actually deporting?
Croaky the cartoon gator (who reads court documents, unlike some senators) breaks it all down in the latest Firing Lane.
📂 DHS admits the mistake. 🧾 No criminal record. 🧠 Due process, discarded. 🧱 Strong border policy turned political theater.
🎧 Croaky’s verdict? “When you can’t tell the difference between a father fleeing gangs and the gangs themselves, you’re not defending the homeland. You’re embarrassing it.”
Listen now.

4 days ago
4 days ago
Trump’s tariffs aren’t just bad policy — they’re reshaping global alliances. In this episode, Croaky breaks down how economic nationalism is pushing China, Japan, and South Korea into an unlikely partnership… and what that means for American power, prices, and the myth of “fair trade.” Buckle up — the real cost of populism starts here.

5 days ago
5 days ago
🎙️ Firing Lane — Pre-Debate PrimerBefore stepping into the debate ring, Croaky lays down the philosophical groundwork:
Why conservatism is not an ideology
How ideologues—left or right—replace thought with slogans
What Russell Kirk, Edmund Burke, and memory have to do with governing
And why conservatism without morality is just cosplay populism
If conservatives abandon the intellectual and moral foundation, someone else—usually worse—will define the terms.This is the calm before the clash.🎧 Listen here:

5 days ago
5 days ago
Debating the Right: Croaky and Simon Clash Over the Soul of Conservatism In this heated and unapologetically nerdy episode of Firing Lane, Croaky goes head-to-head with Simon Laird in a battle over the soul of the right. Is Trumpism the new conservative movement, or is it a populist detour from Russell Kirk’s moral order? From the roots of fusionism and the specter of the John Birch Society to whether pardoning anarcho-libertarian cybercriminals is just good politics, no sacred cow is spared. Buckleyites, paleos, populists, and libertarians all take a few hits. A discussion of justice, immigration, Israel, and drug policy spirals into a philosophical brawl over the meaning of ordered liberty. Featuring hot takes, cold facts, and an awkward defense of Ross Ulbricht. Whether you're a purist, pragmatist, or just politically confused, this is the episode where ideas get tested. Firing Lane: Switch your selector switch from safe to semi and watch your lane.

7 days ago
7 days ago
On Firing Lane, Croaky & Tahgi dive into why real conservatism isn't just opposing the left — it’s built on enduring truths.
We unpack Russell Kirk’s 10 Conservative Principles, mock bumper-sticker politics, and ask:🔹 Can atheists be conservative?🔹 Why do modern movements fear tradition?🔹 Is morality optional, or foundational?
Populists shout.Technocrats spreadsheet.We build — on custom, continuity, and conviction.
🛡️ Conservatism isn’t cosplay. It’s a commitment.
🔗 Listen now

Monday Mar 24, 2025
Monday Mar 24, 2025
The bombs fell on Yemen.The war plan leaked… via group text.And The Atlantic’s editor was accidentally added to the chat.
Yes, really.
This episode of Firing Lane, Croaky Caiman tears into the national-security equivalent of sending nukes via Snap. We expose the recklessness, the legal failures, and the populist cosplay of governance that would make even Hillary’s email server blush.
From Signal threads to strategic blunders, JD Vance’s very brief moment of sanity, and why this fiasco violates every conservative principle worth defending—this one’s required listening.
🧠 Smart analysis.🔥 No excuses.🎯 Actual conservatism.
“If you think emojis and disappearing messages are a sound medium for war planning, this episode is not for you.”
📡 Listen now

Sunday Mar 23, 2025
Sunday Mar 23, 2025
Front Plates, Backlash, and the Real Fight for Public SafetySay what you will about politics, but transparency still matters—and Senator Jay Collins didn’t hide behind talking points. He came on Firing Lane and faced the questions head-on, showing what real accountability looks like
In this episode Croaky dives into the controversial Florida bill aiming to tackle hit-and-runs—nearly 100,000 of them every year, with over 200 Floridians killed annually. Sounds like a public safety issue, right?
But instead of discussing the actual problem, some are more upset about who introduced the bill and the idea of front license plates. Libertarians are crying “tyranny,” but is it tyranny to prevent people from dying on the side of the road?
Senator Jay Collins joins in to explain why he voted to move the bill forward (spoiler: he doesn’t even like parts of it), and why transparency, not performative outrage, is the way to fix broken laws.
💥 If you care about public safety, ordered liberty, and real conservatism that solves problems instead of just tweeting about them—this one’s for you.
🎧 Listen now on Firing Lane and join the conversation.

Tuesday Mar 11, 2025
Tuesday Mar 11, 2025
In this episode of Firing Lane RoboCroaky reads the article that Croaky published takes aim at Tucker Carlson’s latest transformation from Self-styled populist firebrand to a willing mouthpiece for Qatar. The episode setts the stage, explaining how Carlson wants a fierce critic of foreign influence has seamlessly repositioned himself as an apologies to a regime that bankrolls extremism while pretending to be a neutral broker, this episode is a deep dive into the mechanics of political drifting the dangers of foreign influence in conservative media and the fate of those who sell out their own movement for personal gain tune in and stay informed and as always watch your lane.

Edmund Burke
The Godfather of conservative philosophy.
Recommended reading: Russell Kirk’s “The Conservative Mind”, “The Concise Guide to Conservatism” and “Edmund Burke” ; Edmund Burke’s “Reflections on the Revolutions in France”; Ron DeSantis’s “The Courage to Be Free”